for ZEX, it's time to par-tay

[bornsnarky]

[standing at the bar, yanking on the collar of this damn dress uniform]

[reeeeeeally hoping these Thraddash people don't approach me, surely there're enough interesting people around here that I can just get convivially drunk with Scotty and ZEX and Uhura]

[I can see Jim in the corner being all charming and shit, and there're a couple more being entertained by Chekov and Gaila, excellent, maybe I can get out of this formal reception with my sanity relatively intact]

[then a gravelly voice behind me says he'll buy me a drink]

[...turning]

Ah. Um. Thanks, I guess. I'm Leonard McCoy.


[he says he knows]

Comments

[bornsnarky]

Oh, good. So I should only expect this, what, every month or so?

[dazed horror, not angry at you]

.............you what? What kind of claim?

[zexyandiknowit]

The phrase "Thraddash diplomat" is considered little more than a punchline for a reason. I had hoped to avoid--

I. Well. Who can say, really, how they interpreted--

[Hey, VUX! Stop flirting with your boyfriend and get to the ring!]

[Yeah I will just finish this glass then shall I]

[bornsnarky]

[freezes]

[...]

[no, still frozen]

[zexyandiknowit]

[Clunks the glass down]

Sorry.

[And goes to fight this enormous Thraddash dude]

[bornsnarky]

[turns a hair too late]

No, don't apolog-

Shit.

[zexyandiknowit]

[The Thraddash have formed a pretty even circle in the center of the dance floor. Some of them are explaining what's up to Starfleet officials, but most of the rest of them are just drinking and laughing about how they haven't gotten to fight a VUX properly in ages]

[So at least things are going well diplomatically speaking]

[bornsnarky]

[Jim flashes past, checks on me, keeps going to find out wth]

[I shove my way through to get closer to you, heedless of the stupid comments]

This is stupid!

[zexyandiknowit]

Of course it is, but it is no less serious for it!

[Gonna push to the middle of the ring, sizing up his opponent before announcing:] I am ready. You can go find whomever I am meant to fight, now--though I appreciate this offering.

[Apparently this is a sick Thraddash burn, because they're laughing a lot]

[bornsnarky]

[okay fine, touche]

[groaning, rubbing my forehead, DON'T DIE DAMN YOU]

[zexyandiknowit]

[Okay, the head dude shouts something that apparently means "game on," because the Thraddash dude is charging ZEX]

[ZEX sidesteps because not in this dress, honey]

[bornsnarky]

[not watching your ass, not watching your ass]

[totally watching your ass]

[zexyandiknowit]

[Enjoy the flexin' as ZEX crouches and blocks]

[bornsnarky]

[...]

[rhino thing makes an unsavoury comment next to me]

[I cringe and growl something back about leaving 'my boyfriend' the hell alone, because hell if I'm not gonna go along with this and support you now]

[zexyandiknowit]

[Yeah the Thraddash are pretty much calling ZEX a sissy in a zillion different ways, so have fun with that]

[ZEX is holding his own, though, on both the fighting and trash-talking scales]

[For example, after he gets out of a chokehold:] Praise, who taught you how to fight, sir? I did not take you for the cuddling type.

[bornsnarky]

[absolutely appalled by how hot I'm finding this]

[I obviously need some serious therapy]

[and booze]

[LOTS OF BOOZE]

[zexyandiknowit]

[The Thraddash don't even seem insulted, is the thing. They're laughing as much at ZEX's jokes as they are their own. It looks like they just like strength.]

[Heeere, fishy fishy!]

Yes, what is it? I am very busy disciplining this child.

[ZEX then kicks the Thraddash opponent in his throat. Enjoy those gams, Doctor]

[bornsnarky]

[why is Jim catcalling]

[why do those legs indeed go on for weeks]

[zexyandiknowit]

[As the Traddash rubs his jaw: You're not bad, for a VUX!]

And you aren't difficult, for a Thraddash. Let me know when you need a rest.

[PUNCH TO THE FACE are there sparkles and rose petals in the bg]

[bornsnarky]

[I'm certainly seeing stars]

[and garters]

[you really do believe in old fashioned underwear]

[zexyandiknowit]

[ZEX is gonna choke this Thraddash dude now]

[And the top of his dress is a little... undone]

[Kirk whistles and ZEX doesn't know why]

[bornsnarky]

[looking in case you're bruised]

[totally just in case you're bruised]

[zexyandiknowit]

[~*~Clavicle and gills action~*~]

[Things seem to be coming to a close, though, since the Thraddash are laughing more than fighting]

[bornsnarky]

[swallowing]

[an arm's sneaking around me from the side, with a not entirely revolting comment about 'your boyfriend' being murmured in my ear]

[zexyandiknowit]

[And ZEX is victorious! The Thraddash laugh, clap him on the back, and offer him a beer]

[ZEX BARELY manages not to buckle under that clap, and accepts the beer, tugging his skirt back down with one arm]

[bornsnarky]

...

[SIGH OF RELIEF]

[stepping forward, unmolested this time]