for ZEX

[bornsnarky]

[scowling at the communicator]

Yeah, but what the hell happened to him? You could give me a little more-

[Jim barks something curt about not having time and you'll just have to deal with it, Bones]

Oh, great. Just great. Guess I better get ready for anything from the Antares Two-step to Denobulan Mudfever.

Comments

[zexyandiknowit]

I have planted a Leech. It should update shortly and remotely.

[bornsnarky]

[casual, wondering if your back will ever start getting better]

A leech?

[zexyandiknowit]

It is a type of spying device from my people. I have several. They have been cleared by the Federation for field use.

[bornsnarky]

Good idea.

[finishing up working on you, frowning at the poisonous spines]

What do these need? I can scan you, of course, and let the computer figure something out. But I'd prefer it if you told me, if you know.

[zexyandiknowit]

...

I know.

[bornsnarky]

[...shit]

[quietly businesslike]

Okay, what is it, then?

[zexyandiknowit]

[...Sigh]

I thought that I was over this.

[bornsnarky]

It's some kind of anger response, right?

[zexyandiknowit]

It is, at its core, a dominance display, and I have outgrown the need for such a thing, but here it is nonetheless. It--frustrates me--that no matter where in the galaxy I travel, whether my ship is Federation or Armada, or what my rank has risen to be, I continue to treat symptoms and not diseases. To see men and women imprisoned in Federation space, the organization that promised me equality and utopia--yes, I am angry. I am furious, and I am ashamed, for I behaved below my station and now I am talking to you.

[bornsnarky]

[...]

[careful not to make sudden movements; I trust you 100% not to actually hurt me, but it is still possible that you might have a reflexive reaction to me and I don't want that to happen for your sake or mine]

The Federation isn't perfect, hell no. There's a lot wrong out there.

[quietly] I respect that it gets to you this much.

[zexyandiknowit]

I have--I have broken promises, made to myself and my once-Subcommander, and I have revisited--painful memories. I understand myself, in this. I am not less wrathful for it.

[bornsnarky]

[telegraphing every move so you can refuse if you want, I'm gonna put a hand on your cheek, to hold your head still while I inspect cuts]

[though it might be possible to interpret this as a gesture of tenderness, too]

Pretty easy to screw up when it's something this big and horrible.

[zexyandiknowit]

[For the first time in a long time, lets his eye slide closed]

I did not want you to see this, Doctor McCoy.

[bornsnarky]

[not immune to that emotionally]

[dabbing at the cuts, but they seem to be healing all right without further intervention from me]

I'm not taking it as a weakness, if that helps.

[zexyandiknowit]

[Noncommittal noise]

[bornsnarky]

[small smile]

[man, I wish I were better at this emotional stuff, I just don't have the words]

I'm not.

[zexyandiknowit]

[Opens his eye again, just as the spines retreat an inch or so]

I would not blame you if you did.

[bornsnarky]

[smile broadens just a little, still tense and worried and pained for you, but... you're you]

Hey. Self-hate is my load of bullshit. You get your own.

[zexyandiknowit]

[Raises a glance at McCoy]

Your taste in people to hate is terrible.

[bornsnarky]

Pfft.

My taste in people to like is damn good.

[zexyandiknowit]

[Deep breath, ending in a sigh. More spine retreating.]

[bornsnarky]

[softly] If you want to talk about all this, I've got time. But if you want to sleep or work out or whatever, that's fine too.

[zexyandiknowit]

...I do not know... what to say. The only person who has asked is DAX, and I did not so much explain to him as destroy my quarters.

[bornsnarky]

[pleased about the spines, still worried generally]

Ah. You're big on healthy emotional reactions, too.

You want to start at the beginning? When you first had an encounter with slavery?

[zexyandiknowit]

...First--are you certain that the rest of the landing party will not need your assistance any time soon? I believe I have stunned all of the slavers, but if not...