for ZEX, it's time to par-tay

[bornsnarky]

[standing at the bar, yanking on the collar of this damn dress uniform]

[reeeeeeally hoping these Thraddash people don't approach me, surely there're enough interesting people around here that I can just get convivially drunk with Scotty and ZEX and Uhura]

[I can see Jim in the corner being all charming and shit, and there're a couple more being entertained by Chekov and Gaila, excellent, maybe I can get out of this formal reception with my sanity relatively intact]

[then a gravelly voice behind me says he'll buy me a drink]

[...turning]

Ah. Um. Thanks, I guess. I'm Leonard McCoy.


[he says he knows]

Comments

[bornsnarky]

[answering a question about sickbay, MASSIVE double-take at the sight of your ass, why is this my life]

[mustn't stare, we're friends, we're friends, I'm not a perv]

[staring again]

[absentmindedly answering something I didn't quite hear in the affirmative, surprised by a hand on my wrist]

[zexyandiknowit]

[Kirk saw and noted the double-take. THAT is your life, friend doctor]

[Talking to a few Thraddash "diplomats" (they aren't really big on the idea but they do try, bless) about the current cycle, how they're looking for potential Bonds, that sort of thing]

[bornsnarky]

[quite thankful to be able to answer requests to come and see their etchings visit their sickbay with 'no, my captain won't let me']

[even though I'd be mortified if Jim heard me say something like that]

[except now there's an arm around my shoulders and I'm being ushered, only gradually]

[zexyandiknowit]

[Still with his group, but looks over at McCoy, as he has been secretly doing this whole time because Reasons]

[...Wait where are you going]

[bornsnarky]

[reasonably quiet but making it clear that I'm prepared to yell if I have to] No, wait, I'm not going anywhere with you. I have a job already, and I'm needed on Enterprise. You'll have to find someone-

[muffled yelp as a hand clamps around my neck in what looks like a friendly drape but is cutting off my air supply]

[and a jump as another hand finds my ass]

[zexyandiknowit]

[APPEARS at McCoy's side, all sparkly and jangly]

Good evening, sirs. I'm afraid there has been some sort of misunderstanding.

[What? He knows what season it is.]

No, actually, he does not. Humans do not have seasons of this type.

[bornsnarky]

[oh thank fuck you're here, but what are they on about]

[struggling, managing to knee someone somewhere, I hope it's not you]

[zexyandiknowit]

[Something about Bonds and seasons and juveniles, who knows]

[ZEX's body language is firmly on the "I will fight you" side of things, so there's that]

Be that as it may, it is obviously not a human habit. I will have to ask you to return to the festivities, sirs.

[Oh, yeah? Or what? Judkah Korkg?]

...If the situation demands it, yes.

[And THAT earns ZEX a weird look. Wtf is going on]

[bornsnarky]

[OW MY KNEE]

[pissed off / pained / just a hint of mindnumbing terror in the look I'm turning on you right now]

[not liking the way the one on the other side from you is playing with my damn hair either]

[zexyandiknowit]

[ZEX sort of snaps and just]

[Slaps the hand on McCoy's hair away]

[And realizes what he's done like two seconds later]

...Right. Well.

Judkah Korkg it is. Release him.

[bornsnarky]

[the strangest mixture of outrage, RELIEF you're here, terror, and shame that I kinda need rescuing]

[thumps down to the ground, but one of these rhino goons still has a complicated hold on my arm up behind my back, somewhat painful but mostly immobilising me]

[zexyandiknowit]

[Visibly bristling, IN NO MOOD]

Ambassador, these are not my rules. They are yours. Release him properly, and I will prepare a space.

[To McCoy:] I am sorry about this.

[bornsnarky]

[released, grudgingly]

[rubbing my shoulder, starting to get properly pissed off/worried now]

What the hell, ZEX? Jim'll come over, or Spock, or someone, you don't have to fight or anything?

[near ranting at you but my concern/gratitude is obvious underneath]

[zexyandiknowit]

It is more ceremonial than anything, I assure you. I should have paid more attention to the calendars, this is ridiculous. Are you all right?

...I could do with a drink, first. Let us do that.

[bornsnarky]

[glaring at the one near breathing down my neck]

I'm fine.

Mostly.

...can we?

[zexyandiknowit]

[Gently takes McCoy's non-injured arm and steers him away from the Thraddash, talking under his breath]

They wanted to form a Bond with you, which is essentially a form of indentured servitude. They tend to favor medical professionals, for it involves complex child-rearing and healing. I've invoked... well. I hope you do not find this insulting, but I will be fighting for you.

Whiskey or bourbon?

[bornsnarky]

[looking over my shoulder suspiciously as we move, but not resisting you in the slightest]

Bourbon-

-they want me as a slave and you're gonna win me back?

[this is not going in the weekly letter to Mother]

[zexyandiknowit]

I--yes. They are a bit... unorthodox, as these things go.

[Rushed] I may have also implied that I have claim to you but this is only semantics, yes?

[DRINKS]

[bornsnarky]

Oh, good. So I should only expect this, what, every month or so?

[dazed horror, not angry at you]

.............you what? What kind of claim?

[zexyandiknowit]

The phrase "Thraddash diplomat" is considered little more than a punchline for a reason. I had hoped to avoid--

I. Well. Who can say, really, how they interpreted--

[Hey, VUX! Stop flirting with your boyfriend and get to the ring!]

[Yeah I will just finish this glass then shall I]

[bornsnarky]

[freezes]

[...]

[no, still frozen]

[zexyandiknowit]

[Clunks the glass down]

Sorry.

[And goes to fight this enormous Thraddash dude]

[bornsnarky]

[turns a hair too late]

No, don't apolog-

Shit.

[zexyandiknowit]

[The Thraddash have formed a pretty even circle in the center of the dance floor. Some of them are explaining what's up to Starfleet officials, but most of the rest of them are just drinking and laughing about how they haven't gotten to fight a VUX properly in ages]

[So at least things are going well diplomatically speaking]

[bornsnarky]

[Jim flashes past, checks on me, keeps going to find out wth]

[I shove my way through to get closer to you, heedless of the stupid comments]

This is stupid!