for ZEX, it's time to par-tay

[bornsnarky]

[standing at the bar, yanking on the collar of this damn dress uniform]

[reeeeeeally hoping these Thraddash people don't approach me, surely there're enough interesting people around here that I can just get convivially drunk with Scotty and ZEX and Uhura]

[I can see Jim in the corner being all charming and shit, and there're a couple more being entertained by Chekov and Gaila, excellent, maybe I can get out of this formal reception with my sanity relatively intact]

[then a gravelly voice behind me says he'll buy me a drink]

[...turning]

Ah. Um. Thanks, I guess. I'm Leonard McCoy.


[he says he knows]

Comments

[bornsnarky]

[the strangest mixture of outrage, RELIEF you're here, terror, and shame that I kinda need rescuing]

[thumps down to the ground, but one of these rhino goons still has a complicated hold on my arm up behind my back, somewhat painful but mostly immobilising me]

[zexyandiknowit]

[Visibly bristling, IN NO MOOD]

Ambassador, these are not my rules. They are yours. Release him properly, and I will prepare a space.

[To McCoy:] I am sorry about this.

[bornsnarky]

[released, grudgingly]

[rubbing my shoulder, starting to get properly pissed off/worried now]

What the hell, ZEX? Jim'll come over, or Spock, or someone, you don't have to fight or anything?

[near ranting at you but my concern/gratitude is obvious underneath]

[zexyandiknowit]

It is more ceremonial than anything, I assure you. I should have paid more attention to the calendars, this is ridiculous. Are you all right?

...I could do with a drink, first. Let us do that.

[bornsnarky]

[glaring at the one near breathing down my neck]

I'm fine.

Mostly.

...can we?

[zexyandiknowit]

[Gently takes McCoy's non-injured arm and steers him away from the Thraddash, talking under his breath]

They wanted to form a Bond with you, which is essentially a form of indentured servitude. They tend to favor medical professionals, for it involves complex child-rearing and healing. I've invoked... well. I hope you do not find this insulting, but I will be fighting for you.

Whiskey or bourbon?

[bornsnarky]

[looking over my shoulder suspiciously as we move, but not resisting you in the slightest]

Bourbon-

-they want me as a slave and you're gonna win me back?

[this is not going in the weekly letter to Mother]

[zexyandiknowit]

I--yes. They are a bit... unorthodox, as these things go.

[Rushed] I may have also implied that I have claim to you but this is only semantics, yes?

[DRINKS]

[bornsnarky]

Oh, good. So I should only expect this, what, every month or so?

[dazed horror, not angry at you]

.............you what? What kind of claim?

[zexyandiknowit]

The phrase "Thraddash diplomat" is considered little more than a punchline for a reason. I had hoped to avoid--

I. Well. Who can say, really, how they interpreted--

[Hey, VUX! Stop flirting with your boyfriend and get to the ring!]

[Yeah I will just finish this glass then shall I]

[bornsnarky]

[freezes]

[...]

[no, still frozen]

[zexyandiknowit]

[Clunks the glass down]

Sorry.

[And goes to fight this enormous Thraddash dude]

[bornsnarky]

[turns a hair too late]

No, don't apolog-

Shit.

[zexyandiknowit]

[The Thraddash have formed a pretty even circle in the center of the dance floor. Some of them are explaining what's up to Starfleet officials, but most of the rest of them are just drinking and laughing about how they haven't gotten to fight a VUX properly in ages]

[So at least things are going well diplomatically speaking]

[bornsnarky]

[Jim flashes past, checks on me, keeps going to find out wth]

[I shove my way through to get closer to you, heedless of the stupid comments]

This is stupid!

[zexyandiknowit]

Of course it is, but it is no less serious for it!

[Gonna push to the middle of the ring, sizing up his opponent before announcing:] I am ready. You can go find whomever I am meant to fight, now--though I appreciate this offering.

[Apparently this is a sick Thraddash burn, because they're laughing a lot]

[bornsnarky]

[okay fine, touche]

[groaning, rubbing my forehead, DON'T DIE DAMN YOU]

[zexyandiknowit]

[Okay, the head dude shouts something that apparently means "game on," because the Thraddash dude is charging ZEX]

[ZEX sidesteps because not in this dress, honey]

[bornsnarky]

[not watching your ass, not watching your ass]

[totally watching your ass]

[zexyandiknowit]

[Enjoy the flexin' as ZEX crouches and blocks]

[bornsnarky]

[...]

[rhino thing makes an unsavoury comment next to me]

[I cringe and growl something back about leaving 'my boyfriend' the hell alone, because hell if I'm not gonna go along with this and support you now]

[zexyandiknowit]

[Yeah the Thraddash are pretty much calling ZEX a sissy in a zillion different ways, so have fun with that]

[ZEX is holding his own, though, on both the fighting and trash-talking scales]

[For example, after he gets out of a chokehold:] Praise, who taught you how to fight, sir? I did not take you for the cuddling type.

[bornsnarky]

[absolutely appalled by how hot I'm finding this]

[I obviously need some serious therapy]

[and booze]

[LOTS OF BOOZE]

[zexyandiknowit]

[The Thraddash don't even seem insulted, is the thing. They're laughing as much at ZEX's jokes as they are their own. It looks like they just like strength.]

[Heeere, fishy fishy!]

Yes, what is it? I am very busy disciplining this child.

[ZEX then kicks the Thraddash opponent in his throat. Enjoy those gams, Doctor]

[bornsnarky]

[why is Jim catcalling]

[why do those legs indeed go on for weeks]